pardon our appearance

While we were in Mexico, our flowers died. The window box now holds a bunch of shriveled-up flowers and a giant cobweb; the herb garden is nothing but a pot full of brown nothingness; the geranium is beyond thirsty. And just like that our curb appeal is gone. I'm not really that concerned, however, now that our house is off the buyer market and on the renter market. I don't think a renter looks at the house in the same way as a buyer, so what if the flowers have died? That's less work for the renters to keep up anyway, right? We have two showings tomorrow, and maybe I'm just feeling over-confident because we already received a message while we were in Mexico that someone is interested in renting the house, but in lieu of a frenzied cleaning tonight, I placed the above note on our dining room table. I was even wondering if I should add a postscript: this table is for sale...and so is the dresser in the master bedroom...and the one in the kids' bedroom. You know, just in case they want this house and they happen to like our decorating style and they happen to need a piece of furniture or two. I also think the smiley face is a nice touch. It shows we'll be great landlords.

guerilla showing

Tonight Alex and Catcher were outside checking out some big dog they had spotted in the neighborhood when Alex poked his head in the front door saying, "Honey? Are you decent?" This isn't an unusual question considering I'm usually in my nightgown by 6:15pm, but tonight I happened to be wearing a tee shirt and sweatpants. "Yeah. What's going on?" I peeked my head out from the kitchen and saw Alex leading a tall stranger into our home. "Come on in C--," he said enthusiastically. I should have guessed: it was another guerilla showing by Alex.

Apparently the dog that Alex and Catcher were stalking had an owner who had a boyfriend who is looking to buy a home in our neighborhood, so Alex welcomed him in and told him all the great things about this house (the lot, the lot, the lot). Our visitor was most impressed, however, with the double-paned windows. Apparently decent windows are hard to come by in the older homes in this neighborhood, so that's a plus. He also mentioned that he's been looking at condos Uptown, but he'd really like "some property" (good Southern boy!). I almost told him we'd throw in the TV--or the iPad--if he bought the house, but I held back. I didn't want to appear too desperate.

After he left, Alex and I were feeling a little proud of ourselves and wondering if we would get the .03% commission that should be ours if he bought the house. I also could't help but notice that today is 6/6, so maybe there is something to all this six business. I'm thinking I should send Alex out for a lotto ticket.

oh, deer!

Yesterday morning (early morning...like 6:15 early) I was sprucing up the house for our showing that afternoon. And before you ask: yes, I'm a crazy person who likes to clean; no, I'm not that crazy--the kids were up and playing in the living room, so I figured I would make the best use of my time. What else are you going to do at 6:15am? But back to the story. So I was wiping down the countertops in the kitchen when something moving down the driveway caught my attention out of the corner of my eye. Slightly startled, I quickly turned toward the window to see a white-tailed deer swishing down the driveway like it was nobody's business. "Catcher!" I yelled. "Hurry! I want you to see something." With a furry that could only be repeated if Diego himself were calling his name, Catcher came bounding into the kitchen to see what all the hoopla was about. I scooped Scout up off the floor, and the three of us gathered on the side porch to check out the deer, which had suddenly become two, now standing at the end of our driveway. They must have heard all the commotion (or disturbance, more likely) because they both turned their heads toward us with ears perked. For a slight moment I had visions of being mauled by a deer in my own driveway. What the heck were they doing in our neighborhood, anyway? Where did they come from? Independence Avenue [inside Charlotte joke...sorry]?

Catcher was less than impressed with the sighting, I must admit. I guess they didn't hold a candle to the leather back sea turtles that Diego was prattling on about, but I thought it was pretty cool. Maybe I don't get out much. Or maybe I thought it would be an interesting note to add to our MLS report, "Park like setting in the backyard replete with wildlife."

is this too desperate?

I'm pleased to report that after a week or so of inactivity on the home front, we've already had two showings this week. I have yet to receive feedback from either one, but the only feedback we care about at this point--stop me if you've heard this one before--is an offer. In my somewhat desperate and feeble attempt to bring something new to the house without paving the driveway, for example, I picked up a little summer "Aloha" bouquet at the Trader Joe's this weekend to cheer the place up a bit. My awesome herb garden centerpiece, in case you're wondering, moved into the kitchen for these latest showings. 

Has anyone been keeping track of the number of showings we've had, by the way? I know it took our neighbors about 50 until they finally sold their place, so I'm wondering what kind of time frame we're looking at here. Please don't say another two years...

i did it!

I love to paint and repurpose old furniture, but I've never been the crafty Martha Stewart type who can make a garden grow or create innovative place settings for dinner parties. That's why I was particularly pleased with myself when I came up with this little DIY centerpiece for our showings this past Saturday. The empty dining room table was looking a little sad, and I'm not the type to set a table for "staging" purposes, so I had to come up with something. My little one-trick pony is buying a bunch of tulips in the same color and arranging them tightly in a short vase, but I forgot to get flowers at the Trader Joe's that morning, so I had to work with what I had. And what I had were a few colorful glass tumblers (courtesy of Calypso for Target) and an herb garden (courtesy of my mom). I snipped a little cilantro, a little rosemary and a little unidentified purple blossom thing, and voila! Instant centerpiece.

But my creativity didn't stop there...I put some rosemary by the kitchen sink for a touch--notice I avoided the word pop--of color, and then because I was so pleased with myself and on a roll, I moved the bamboo into the bathroom to create a little zen-like vibe in there.

These are all tricks that the realtors would have you believe will sell a house in an instant, but our feedback from Saturday (once again) was "no comment." But I can't complain (yet) because at least people are looking at the place. I'm just wondering how many "no comments" it takes to get an offer. Anyone?

Oh yeah. I forgot to tell you the best part of my herb geniusness. Tonight when I was making dinner (and by making, I mean heating up a bag of frozen pasta in a skillet) I reached behind me and tossed in a few sprigs of fresh rosemary. I like that word "sprigs." Let's take one last look at my genius work...

homeless?

Does this car look like it belongs to a homeless person? I kind of wish it did belong to a homeless person, in a way, because that would mean that we've sold our house. But this isn't the car of a homeless person. This is a car of a family that is trying to sell its house and has a showing at 10:30am on a Saturday like we did last weekend. Believe it or not, sandwiched between all the bags and boxes and stroller and Lord knows what else, are two kids and two parents out for a Saturday drive. You've already heard the feedback ("no comment") from this one, but I thought this picture accurately describes the life you live when you're trying to sell a house. Speak of the devil...we just got a call for two showings tomorrow afternoon. At least they gave us some notice this time.

The two bags of chips in the forefront of this picture, by the way, are in no way representative of our grocery shopping habits. Not pictured is a bottle of vodka, which more accurately describes our grocery shopping habits [wink!].

sunshine showing

This past Saturday was the perfect day for a showing, and we had one. The sun was shining, neighbors--the cute kind, not the scary kind--were milling about their yards and the birds were singing. Here is what our house looked like before we left it (note the sunshine pouring in through the windows and the tree perched right in line with the view from the master bedroom):

Regardless of our efforts, however, the feedback we received was "no comment," and we all know what that means. We also got feedback from another one of our showings and the realtor said her client thought the house was cute but just needs to [sic] much work. Could you be a little more specific on work? Work meaning you would like a third bedroom and would have to add on to get one? Or work meaning you want a fence? Or work meaning there's a cracked tile on the fireplace you would have to fix? The feedback was vague and negative; however, it did provide us with a new joke: this house just needs T - O much work!

oh what a night

You wouldn't know it by looking at this picture, but this morning it was pouring down rain in Charlotte. It was so dreary that just prior to leaving the house, I thought about my closet door that I left wide open and the dirty dishes in the sink telling myself, "no one is looking at houses on a day like today." "No one" called at 10:41am requesting a showing between 11:30 - 12:30. Thank goodness Alex decided to skip the gym this morning and give the house a little spit shine, if you will, before leaving for work. I hope they liked the new and improved HVAC "garden" (at least that's how I like to think of it).

But forget about the showing. Today turned out to be a beautiful day and we were able to take advantage of it on an evening stroll through the neighborhood. Catcher and Alex were looking for owls in trees, Scout was savoring her sippy cup and I was the team photographer.

By the way, if anyone is counting, the feedback we received from last week's two showings was "no comment," so I guess they didn't like it.

three

Today we had our third official showing. I say "official" because I forgot to mention one "unofficial" showing that Alex hosted earlier in the week. On Tuesday night he was outside cleaning his car (I use the term cleaning very loosely here), when a snappy young guy driving a BMW slowed down and performed a couple drive-bys on the place. I guess Alex stared him down long enough that he finally rolled down his window to ask if the house was for sale (there's no sign in the front yard, but I think that adds to the intrigue). Lovable guy-next-door Alex offered to give him a tour around the outside of the property, and using his best selling techniques pointed out all the great things about the house--the neighborhood, the lot, the rocks around the flowerbed--and downplayed the negatives (what negatives?!). So that was Brad on Tuesday. I don't know if he liked what he saw, but I hope his comes back for a closer look because I believe this is the perfect house for a single guy. A single guy won't care about the washing machine in the kitchen (he probably wouldn't even know what it is).

And that brings us to [official] number three, which took place this afternoon. We have yet to hear feedback from yesterday's number two, by the way, so I'm sure they hated it (haha). We left the house in showing order this morning if you take away the fact that we still have to slap some paint on the walls in Catcher's room in a couple of places where we patched up some cracks (pictured above). "We" means Alex in the previous sentence. I hope whoever looked at the house doesn't hold it against us. I hope they realize that we'll take 10 minutes on Sunday to cover finish the job. I hope they like small houses. Honestly I forgot that we had to do it until we had our first showing last week; I guess I didn't think we'd have so many showings in the first week. But look on the bright side, if it was Brad or some other single guy, he probably didn't notice anyway.

number two

Our house has been on the market for a week, and today we had our second showing. The call came in around noon that someone wanted to show it at 2:45. The funny thing is that before I left the house this morning, my closet was kind of a mess and I left our mail out on the washing machine (the one in the kitchen, remember) thinking to myself, "what are the odds that someone is going to look at the house today?" Turns out the odds were pretty good, but thankfully Alex was able to sneak away from work to come home and put some fresh flowers on the mantel--seriously!--and store the tools and lawnmower that were littering the back yard in our neighbor's garage. Alex made it out of the house at 2:40 and saw the realtor parking across the street as he backed out of the driveway. I guess some of my stalker tendencies has influenced him because he lingered by the stop sign a block away from our house to get a look at who was going inside. Young couple. Nothing special. Alex can already hear them saying "the house is just too small." Update to follow.

separate your laundry

We have the feedback from yesterday's showing. You can probably guess that since you don't see a million exclamation points and the title of this blog isn't WE GOT AN OFFER!!!!! that we didn't get an offer. The feedback, however, was a little easier to take than the standard "the house is too small" response we've been dealt a thousand times before. This time the prospective buyer said she was a little sketched out by the HVAC unit (I'm totally with her on that one, but the ironic thing is that it looks terrible but is in great condition) and she couldn't get over the washing machine being in the kitchen. I guess I take it for granted that I lived in New York City for six years where things like showers in kitchens and toilets in closets is the norm. You wouldn't think twice if you found an amazing deal on a place in the West Village...but the shower is in the kitchen (So what!? It's a real two bedroom for under $3000 in the West Village!); however, in North Carolina things are different. Homeowners like big rooms with big closets and bonus rooms and rec rooms and mud rooms and any other kind of room you can dream up. They like their bathrooms to be bathrooms and their kitchens to be kitchens (what a luxury!).

But in places like Europe, for example, space is more of a luxury than in the U.S., so a lot of homes skip the whole laundry room thing and work the washing machine into the kitchen design. So I think that makes our house pretty cool in a Euro-chic kind of way. In fact, after discovering some of these spaces online, it makes me almost want a washing machine in the kitchen of my next house. Almost.

unplggd

Apartment Therapy

Interior Design Trends Directory

this time we mean business

Yesterday was Easter Sunday, and the Wheats decided that instead of spending what turned out to be a beautiful afternoon outside on a silly egg hunt, we would spend the afternoon fixing up the outside of the house. Actually, Alex spent the afternoon fixing up the outside of the house with Catcher's "help," while Scout napped and I cleaned the inside (and stuck my head out the front door periodically to ask if there was anything I could do and make sure the boys were drinking enough water). Here are the guys in action:

While the guys were hard at work, Scout getting rowdy on the front porch (my motivation behind this picture was actually to show off the "pop of color" from the plants I have miraculously not killed over the past month):

Alex also cut some fresh flowers from our lovely English-inspired garden--I say that because I find it unruly and confusing at times--in the front yard and placed them on the mantle (p.s. is it me, or does the ceiling totally look blue in this picture?):

We also opened one Easter care package from the kids' grandma and one from the kids' cousins and merged the two into this lovely centerpiece on our dining room table:

I realize this may all seem random, but I do have a point. As we were performing these somewhat menial tasks yesterday, I found myself saying things like "Wow...the mulch really looks nice. I hope someone comes to look at the house soon;" and "The flowers on the mantle are so cute. I hope someone comes to look at the house before they die;" or "Let's put the Easter bucket on the table, and then if someone comes to look at the house they can have a Godiva butterfly." I don't lay claim to being a psychic, but someone did come to look at the house today. Of course, Alex got the call at 3:03pm that a realtor wanted to show it between 3:00 - 4:00pm, so we didn't have time to come home and turn on all the lights and pull back all the curtains and bake an apple pie or whatever, but at least we had some fresh designer black mulch.

By the way, today is day 5 that our house has been on the market if anyone's counting.

puking pumpkin

Alex thought it would be cute this year to carve one of those puking pumpkins he's seen on the Internet. It was good for a laugh on Halloween, but a week later the little pumpkin is starting to stink up the side porch. Oh, and we got a call today about a showing tomorrow morning. Just in case the prospective buyer(s) don't have the same sense of humor as my husband, I made the executive decision to trash the puker tonight.

In other outdoor news, I'm just happy Alex finally had the time to clean up the backyard. It's pretty sad and embarrassing when you see the before and after in pictures...yikes!

survey says...

"Cute house...just too small."

That's the feedback we received from our showing yesterday. We actually have another one tomorrow evening. I didn't have time to bake cookies tonight (ha! ha!), but I'm hoping they'll like the house anyway.

another quickie

I'm no longer surprised when the call comes in giving us just a few hours notice that we have a showing. I definitely have the prep-and-go down to an art form, but what does surprise me is how my perception of how we left the house in the morning differs from reality. Thinking we had left the house in show condition, I quickly discovered I was wrong (and sighed with relief that I was able to run home during my lunch break).

Wet towels hanging from the bedroom and bathroom doors? Not a great impression for a prospective buyer. Did you notice the training potty on the floor of the bathroom? That's another thing you want to hide...

At first glance Catcher's room seemed presentable, but then I took a closer look inside the crib littered with blankets and stuffed animals. I also noticed my closet door was left open and a pair of Catcher's jeans had been left out to dry. All easy fixes but things you don't want to highlight during a showing.

So now I guess we just wait for feedback. But as I've expressed lately, I'm really not interested in any more feedback...we just want an offer.

no comment

Today our realtor hosted a broker's open to get some traffic moving through the house. I came home to a warm house smelling of home-cooked chili and jalapeno cornbread along with some "constructive criticism" from the realtors who stopped by. At this point, I have to say that I'm honestly not interested in what the realtors have to say about neutralizing and staging and whatever--I just wanted people in the house hoping that someone out there has a client who actually wants to buy a home. That being said, I did follow the "suggestions" our realtor gave the last time she walked through the house, and I pulled back all the curtains and put fresh flowers out for a "pop of color," which is quickly becoming my least favorite phrase, by the way. Here's a look at the house prior to the open (note the tulips on the coffee and dining room tables):

With two growing kids and my sanity waning, the house isn't going to get in any better showing condition. We've changed the price; we've changed the kitchen; we've changed the exterior and the yard,  and still nothing. The only thing that hasn't changed in this equation is the realtor, so maybe we need to think about looking elsewhere.

37 minutes

I'm glad I drive an SUV, and here's why: when you're at work and receive a phone call that someone would like to look at your house in exactly 37 minutes, the car becomes a great storage space for all your home's eyesores that are neglected on a daily basis. Two kids and a husband can create clutter in record time, so here's what I stuffed into my Ford Explorer at 11:21 this morning (the showing was scheduled for 11:30):

- one stroller

- one can of paint

- one bag of "fixer-up" items that needs to be returned to the Home Depot

- one training toilet

- one bag of electronic wires I found piled up on the desk

- one laundry basket full of Scout's clothes

- one bag of miscellaneous items (ranging from unopened mail to a baby monitor)

- one bassinet in which Scout sleeps

- one Boppy

After making a mad dash to turn on all the lights, pull back the curtains, wipe down the counters and empty the trash, I made it out of the house with one minute to spare. I'm getting kind of good at this.

a girl's best friend

manufacturer.com

For my 31st birthday, I gave myself a Dyson vacuum cleaner, and it's one of the best presents I've ever received. The OCD in me has always loved vacuuming--as a kid it was my favorite chore--and I've had my fair share of it over the past four months since our house has been on the market. I vacuum before showings, after showings (they always track dirt into the house), while Catcher's eating and after he eats, on weekends and weeknights and any time I need to relieve a little stress. So tonight I didn't mind vacuuming for the TV crew that is coming back to the house tomorrow to get some interior shots of the house. I just hope I don't see one speck of dirt when it airs...

not again...

Today my husband received a call at 8:50am saying that a realtor wanted to preview our house between 9:00 - 10:00am. Normally this would be a serious inconvenience given 10 minutes notice prior to a showing (or "preview" as the case may be), but since he had taken out the garbage and remembered to put the toilet seat down he obliged. At 2:00pm we received the following feedback: Was not able to preview. Thanks.

Two days in a row we get the shaft? Thanks but no thanks.

dust and go

One of the most frustrating things about selling your house is that you have to be ready to show it at a moment's notice. At exactly noon today, my husband texted me that he had received a call requesting a showing today between 4:45 - 5:45. This is my first week back at work, so I wasn't home to do the requisite before-showing cleaning and had to hurry to the house during my lunch break to perform a little dust-and-go. Thank goodness I decided to check in on the place (side note: Alex was the last to leave the house this morning) because the state in which I found the house was less than ideal.

Nevermind the gym bag and flip-flops sitting by the front door, this is exactly what Alex's closet looked like when I walked into the bedroom. The main complaint we hear about our house is that "it's too small," so showcasing that fact with a closet spewing forth its contents wouldn't be a great idea. And what's with all the cords piled up on the corner of the desk?

In our "small" kitchen, we don't really have room for a trashcan, so we're in the habit of loading up plastic bags by the windowsill that we take out two or three times a day. It's sort of an unwritten rule that the last person to leave the house in the morning takes the garbage out. On second thought, it's an actual rule that when my husband is home, he's in charge of the trash (it's "man's" work). Yes, those are dirty diapers poking out of the bag that didn't quite make it out of the house this morning. But the lucky bamboo in the background is a nice touch, don't you think?

This is just an example of a pile of clutter left lying on the washing machine, which happens to be crammed into our small kitchen. No one wants to see your unorganized stack of mail.

Toilet seat up--need I say more? Oh, that is toilet paper that you see in the bowl. I actually emptied the trash before I took this picture, but the overflow would have told a nice story.

Did I mention earlier that one of the most frustrating things about selling your house is that it needs to be "show ready" at any given moment? I forgot to add that it's also frustrating to go through the trouble of preparing your house for a showing only to find out the prospective buyers are a no-show, because that's exactly what happened today. While it's nice to have the house clutter-free for a day or two, it's also hard work to retrace my hurried steps and remember where I hid my husband's media guide that he needs for the football game he's working this weekend. Which reminds me, I need to go track that down for him...