i'm just sayin...

Mom, do you have parts inside of you?

Is it the weekends?

You weren't in anyone's tummy.

Maybe Scout will go to sleep while I'm watching a show, and that will be my halftime.

The teachers don't teach us anything. All they do is talk.

Only mommies can say bad words.
[Disclaimer: I'm not one to use a lot of bad words, but I'm happy to know that it's allowed]

Scout's not having any dessert because she's being a bully today.

Kids like working things.

I love you 60 pounds.

Me: Dad is my friend.
Catcher: He's not a friend. He's just a guy. He doesn't even have a name.

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