Mom, do you have parts inside of you?
Is it the weekends?
You weren't in anyone's tummy.
Maybe Scout will go to sleep while I'm watching a show, and that will be my halftime.
The teachers don't teach us anything. All they do is talk.
Only mommies can say bad words.
[Disclaimer: I'm not one to use a lot of bad words, but I'm happy to know that it's allowed]
Scout's not having any dessert because she's being a bully today.
Kids like working things.
I love you 60 pounds.
Me: Dad is my friend.
Catcher: He's not a friend. He's just a guy. He doesn't even have a name.