Dear Austin (as in Texas, not my Kindergarten boyfriend),
I'm not really sure how to begin this letter. I don't know if it's me or if it's you, but something has got to change in our relationship. I should start off by saying that when people ask me how I can stand living in a city with 90 (or more!) 100 degree days of summer, I tell them they should visit in the winter. In the winter, when the average temperature is 64 degrees. Have you forgotten? It certainly seems that way because you aren't living up to your end of the bargain this year. And please don't give me excuses like polar vortexes and arctic freezes sweeping down from Canada. Those excuses may have worked back in November or December--or even January--but this is February! The heat in our house should not be on right now. I'm supposed to be drinking margaritas on the front porch. And what is this business with school closings and delays every other day...don't even get me started on that one. I know this is a difficult time for both of us, but I really hope you get whatever it is that's bothering you out of your system. If I put on these Uggs, which aren't even Uggs but knockoffs from the Target, one more day I'm going to lose my mind! It was warmer in Sochi, Russia--Russia, where they are hosting the winter Olympics--today than it was in Austin. That will be all for now. Thanks.
Dear Sarah (as in myself),
If you find yourself faced with another afternoon of 35 degrees and rain, please do not give the girls hot cocoa and cookies. And don't give Catcher an extra cookie because he doesn't like chocolate. They (the kids) will destroy you. Tillie will color all over the walls in the kitchen while Catcher and Scout laugh hysterically. Don't mind your own business folding laundry, assuming they are just playing nicely and having a hearty afternoon laugh. The coloring is only the beginning. They will also pull one of Catcher's blinds out of the wall and somehow tear up a piece (albeit a small piece, but still..) of the hardwood floor. Maybe next time you should just take them back to the children's museum.