first splash of the season

It's May in Texas, so that means the splash pads are open. This morning the Wheat children celebrated the beginning of another hot summer season at a birthday party for one of Scout's kinder buddies at the Pease Park splash pad. This was a party I was actually happy to attend (I've become very discriminating after dragging three kids to birthday parties for the last four years) because it was at 10:00am, and the party planners served coffee and breakfast tacos. The kids stayed busy ducking in and out of water shoots, blowing bubbles and drying off on the adjoining playground. The parents stayed busy drinking coffee and gossiping on the sideline (or was that just me?).

my balls look better

Hey guys, guess what! I have a picture of our house to show you!

I think my contractor said it best when he asked me "Where do you get these ideas of yours?" I wish I had the answer--or maybe I don't because it makes me sound "artsy" and "creative" to design on the fly--but honestly sometimes things just pop into my head. When it comes to most things in life, I am not spontaneous, and I am not a "fly by the seat of my pants kind of gal" (even though that is one of my favorite quotes from one of my favorite movies).

In regular (non-decorating) life I like to make plans, and I don't mind if those plans change as long as someone gives me advanced notice of those plans changing. I do not fly by the seat of my pants. In decorating, however, I do fly by the seat of my pants. Except the phrase I like to use, which is arguably odder and perhaps sounds clairvoyant, is that something "spoke to me." I don't have a problem hearing these decorating voices, but they kind of drive Alex crazy when he doesn't get the memo that now we're painting the dining room ceiling black, for instance.

Me: I don't know. I'm into this black thing right now. I just want to paint the ceiling black.

Alex: You said everything in the house was going to be white.

Me: I know, but that was before.

Alex: Before what?

Me: I don't know. I'm just feeling the black right now. I'm into the whole contrast. Just don't ask me. Whatever. Paint it black.

Alex: [Eyes rolling behind my back. No words, but he's thinking "crazy bitch."]

So this is what happened that time I bought black paint for the interior doors (that was part of the original plan, by the way) and then we painted the fireplace (on the fly decision because it was speaking to me)...

The dining room went from drab:

To fab:

The balls are another story that involves one dropping from the ceiling and hitting Alex in the head before shattering on the dining room table. "At least it didn't happen to one of the children," is what I said. "That's what happens when you buy stuff from China on eBay," was Alex's take on the situation. Either way, we got a replacement (from China on eBay) and then blew out the socket when we hung it for the second time. "I really don't care. They look nicer than those other crap-ass lights," I said. "It would be nice if they worked," countered Alex. #formoverfunction

some days you win

and some days you lose. I'm pretty sure I lost today. I know that because I found this note left by Catcher on my beside table:

rainy day mom's day

Alex had big plans for Mother's Day this year. Or maybe he didn't, but he convinced me that he did. His plans, unfortunately, were derailed by the unexpected rain we experienced on that most blessed day for moms. So instead we had a taco brunch at our favorite neighborhood taco joint--they have $2 Bloody Marys on Sundays, so that's a win--and then we came home and watched the kids play in the gutter in their bathing suits.

another season in the books

And just like that Scout's soccer season is over. This spring the Black Panthers (yes, that's the name Scout's U6 team picked out for itself) dominated on the field. I'm kidding; watching five year-olds play soccer is almost as amusing as watching four year-olds. However, the team was excited to be back together for its second straight season, and the little guys had fun out there.

The most exciting thing for the parents was our group decision not to provide after-game snacks. We opted instead for halftime oranges, and I have to tell you how much this improved my soccer Saturdays. Instead of having my two children--the two who did not participate in the game--screaming and whining about snacks, snacks, snacks and grabbing with their greedy little paws for players' snacks, we were able to exit the soccer field with little drama. And no one crashed from a post-8:00am game sugar rush at 9:00 in the morning. It's the little victories that count.

i need the force

Let me take you inside the journey of a mom who wanted to treat her nerdy Star Wars-crazed children to an afternoon of fun on May the 4th, which any respectable Star Wars fan (do they have a name for themselves, by the way, like Trekkies?) knows is national--or perhaps international--Star Wars day.

Immediately after picking up the children from school this afternoon, we headed over to our local vegan ice cream joint (because who doesn't love vegan ice cream when it's sunny and 84 in Austin?) and then on to the public library for its Star Wars Day celebration. While images of Star Wars-shaped cookies and a library filled with characters danced in the children's heads, the reality of a Star Wars party held at your local public library did not live up to the hype.

Instead of Chewbacca or some other equally charming character greeting us at the door, we were shuffled into a small, carpeted florescent-lit room where 50 other children, in various iterations of Star Wars garb, were already crowded around folding tables littered with the makings of do-it-yourself Star Wars crafts. There was a "Make Your Own Light Saber" table along with "Build a Droid." There was also a Darth Vader puzzle that, when complete, would reveal the secret hiding place of a secret prize. If all this sounds like fun, then I'm painting a picture that is too flattering.

This party was not fun. My children told me so. It was "boring" and there was "nothing to do." There weren't any of the cookies that Catcher had promised himself in his head. There weren't life-sized photographs of Star Wars characters lining the library walls, as Scout had imagined. There wasn't even a Star Wars character scavenger hunt like Tillie thought there would be. Instead there were a bunch of other children using up all the supplies for making your own light saber and taking up all the slots in the Jedi competition games. The horror!

All of this commotion brought each of my three children to tears--for his or her own reasons--as we were crowded in that little room with stinky kids and weird parents who had actually dressed themselves as Star Wars characters. After Catcher yelled at me because his name was allegedly skipped in the Jedi competition order, I made the executive decision that it was time to cut our losses and get the heck out of dodge. This did not go over well with my comrades. Now instead of being cramped inside a poorly lit room in the public library, I found myself walking through the library with three crying, screaming children and Scout throwing her light saber at the glass entry door (don't stress: it was made of foam; the organizers must have seen this type of resistance coming).

When we finally made it to the car, after cries of everything being my fault and a round or two of "You're the worst mom in the universe," Catcher ripped apart his own light saber with his bare hands (remember, just foam here) and proceeded to yell at the girls the entire way home because, ironically, they were crying and he wanted them to be quiet. I think this will go down as one of my most unpleasant car driving experiences ever. Honestly, I'm just happy we made it home without getting in an accident. It is very distracting having three children trying to out-scream one another in the car. And believe it or not, I don't think this story captures even half of the real-life turmoil. Don't let these sweet faces fool you.

pic of the week

When I happen upon a photo opportunity  like the one above, I caption it "They're always like this."

P.S. I just came across this draft and realized I never published it.

P.P.S. They are not always like this.